"It's brought us closer together in a lot of ways"We are all affected by arthritis differently. Whether it is you who has arthritis or a loved one, we are affected. Some people cope by reading or writing, others cope by talking to a loved one or a family member. It's good to have your own methods of coping, but there may come a time when your condition has an effect on others around you.
Having being diagnosed at a young age, I was never in a relationship. At the age of 7, all I was worried about was "what if I can't go out to play with my friends?" but then as I grew older my thoughts turned to "what if no one can love me because of my condition? Will people think I'm weird?"
Having recently got into a relationship, I've found that these issues aren't relevant as I've found someone who is open minded, caring, considerate and supportive in every way and I couldn't be more thankful.
As I did with my friends a while back, I asked him some questions about our relationship and my arthritis.
1: How has your partner having arthritis impacted your relationship?
B: If anything, Caitlyn having arthritis has had more of a positive impact on our relationship than negative. It's brought us closer together in a lot of ways, I am grateful that I can be there to comfort her during her flare ups and ultimately fulfil the role of somebody on whom she can rely for emotional comfort during these spikes of pain. I suppose the best thing to do in this situation is to take advantage of it and see as many bright sides as possible. This leads me to feel as though arthritis is less of an obstacle for our relationship and more just something that makes Caitlyn special, she leads a life no different to that of anybody else, I don't feel like she's not human just because of a condition and it definitely doesn't make her any less inviting of a person.
2: does it impact you in any way?
B: I feel like saying that it impacts me is almost selfish, due to the fact that I'm not actually the one who has to deal with it. Sometimes there are moments when it is a burden for Caitlyn, but ultimately I try my best to sympathise with her and comfort her as best as I can, I know I can't exactly relate to her pain but I try my best to be there for her at the very least. it's not a burden for me at all and the only way it affects me is in the way that she may need a little more support every now and then, which, again, shouldn't even be a bad thing.
3:how would you help your partner if they were having a flare up?
B: Because me and Caitlyn are long distance, there isn't much I can do for her physically. The most I can do is call her up and give her some comforting words. I can tell her to open a window and get some fresh air or go and drink a glass of water to make herself feel better, but there are really not many options in terms of physical support. If I was with her, however, and I had the options, I'd make sure she was comfortable on the sofa or in bed with a hot coffee or a cold smoothie and I'd make sure she had enough pain relief to get her through the day. I'd ensure she was okay and check on her periodically during the event, and I'd spend as much time with her as possible.
4: what would be your advice for anyone else who's partner has arthritis?
B: Support them just as you'd support a normal partner. If you're into somebody, arthritis shouldn't be a con of being their partner. It shouldn't be a factor of any kind. A partner should be supported regardless of their health conditions, and health conditions definitely should not affect the relationship on a large scale. The advice I can give to somebody whose partner has arthritis is just to look after them as you would anybody else.
5: How did you react finding out your partner has arthritis? Did it change your opinion on them?
B: I've known about Caitlyn's arthritis almost since we started talking. If anything, it was a reason to be attracted to her in the first place. She sent me her blog, I had a read through it, and I realised how strong and admirable of a person she really is. I honestly do look up to her for coping so well with her arthritis, and she definitely makes a great role model, and I feel like everybody needs some more positive energy like hers. She's kinder than anybody I know and she puts on a contagious smile for everybody she sees. I feel like a part of what made her so admirable of a person is the arthritis. It's shown her the world's darkest parts, and she subconsciously decided that other people shouldn't have to experience this side of things, so she made it her mission to make the world a better place. It's a part of who she is and even if I could, I wouldn't change that at all.
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