"It's been 8 years since my diagnosis- but I wouldn't change anything."
I was diagnosed on the 12th of August 2011 at age 7. I didn't really understand my diagnosis, nor do I remember my mum's facial expression as we heard the news. To be honest, I don't remember much about the day I was diagnosed, but I do know how much that day changed my life.
I remember having a meeting with my Year 2 teacher and my mum, telling her about my arthritis. It was after school, and everyone was gone. My mum came into the classroom with sheets of paper; hospital letters. We all sat down at a table and I just listened to my mum and my teacher talk. It wasn't until my mum said, "She has arthritis" I tuned in again. My teacher looked at me in surprise and she said, "I'm sorry to hear that." I didn't feel anything as she said that. I still don't, when people discover my condition. To be honest, I still don't understand it, no matter how many questions I ask or how much my consultant tells me; I don't think I'll ever understand it. It's a condition I've grown up with, I've had it over half my life.
It's been 8 years since my diagnosis- but I wouldn't change anything. I used to ask myself, "Why not my brother? Or my sister? Why me?" But then I realised that was unfair and that they'd be thinking the same thing. I've come to terms with my arthritis- I have days when I'm unhappy, but who doesn't? It's all about learning to find ways of coping that are effective and beneficial for you. For example, on my 'down days' I take it easy: I take some painkillers, have a warm bath and sometimes just settle down with a hot water bottle with a book or a movie. You don't have to feel guilty for taking these days off as it's all for your recovery, and also your mental stability. It can take a lot for you to get out of bed on these days, especially when all you want to do is go back and sleep the pain away, or into the next day. I sometimes feel guilty for taking these days off, because sometimes I don't like explaining that I'm in pain; I'm often just quiet and unresponsive. It's often hard explaining how you feel to others, especially when your pain is mostly invisible. There's been many days I've had that were like this, and here's a few things I do to relax and cope which you might find good to do as well:
- read your favourite book
- have a bubble bath with candles
- wrap up in a blanket on the sofa with a hot water bottle
- draw/paint something
If there's anything else you'd like to see on my blog, please don't hesitate to comment or contact me at jiacaitlyn@gmail.com
-Caitlyn 😊
